reasons I’m vegan

Some things I like about being vegan:

  1. 88 animals per year
  2. fresher food, especially when chefs cook special orders
  3. healthier, which is useful
  4. not contributing to the veal industry
  5. environmental impact of trading a low-mpg SUV in for something with fuel efficiency
  6. being a pacifist 24-7
  7. producing more food for people in need
  8. being a member of a secret society with arcane rituals, hell-bent on world domination by 2015
  9. bean burgers
  10. grilled vegetables aren’t just a side dish, so I can grow dinner.
  11. eating desert first. if there’s fruit.
  12. nearly no cross-contamination in the kitchen. cross-contamination is gross.
  13. milk stays fresher, longer, and stores in the pantry for months
  14. vegan products are frequently organic
  15. carbs
  16. naked peta fur protesters are on my side
  17. cool flair
  18. less pesticide in my diet
  19. pre-cooked food might be good to eat without cooking
  20. can afford the good snacks at the expensive hippy grocery stores
  21. convenient excuse to try out any new restaurants
  22. kitchen thermometers are only needed for candy
  23. the steak knives stay sharp, even though I use them
  24. Hollywood starlets are ever-so-slightly more likely to go out with me. Slightly.
  25. an international organization wants to run ads during Super Bowls, to convince the world that vegans are teh hottness
  26. desert and brunch are completely indistinguishable
  27. my own menu (or used to) at Disney World
  28. I use the word “juicy” to accurately describe my food
  29. soy lattes
  30. thinsulate works better than wool
  31. pleather is the new leather
  32. my car seats are never sticky or hot enough to burn skin on a hot day in the sub-tropics
  33. if my food were to ferment, it would be consumed at a party rather than threatening disease
  34. can say I’m committed with a fair amount of authority and credibility
  35. no danger of microwaved fish smell
  36. finding a place to eat dinner with someone on a restricted diet isn’t very difficult
  37. vegan sushi

Monday ~ June 1, 2009 by b

Posted in dining,environment,nature,veg | 6,292 Comments |

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