About having a dark sense of humor…
So, I have a rather dark sense of humor. I’ve noticed other people who have it and I sympathize with them. A dark sense of humor is also known as gallows humor for good reason. It’s the jokes people tell about tragedy after they’ve become familiar with tragedy or the fear of it. Healthcare workers have it, emergency responders have it, soldiers have it, and even terminally ill people have it. Without going into detail I have it too, and mostly definitely not for any kind of heroic actions or personal sacrifice. On the other hand, some who are very familiar with tragedy have no sense of humor about it, and I completely respect that. I mean them no offense, and I’m not trying to pressure them to laugh. There are times for mourning, and I recognize that some people are simply living that indefinitely.
No one talks about where it comes from, or exactly how it works. It’s part trying to delay the mourning and fear, it’s part trying to deal with it, it’s part trying to balance out the bad feelings, it’s part abject denial, and probably has other parts like trying to find a way to “toughen up” when we know tragedy could strike again. Maybe we just need a break in the action. I suspect that deep down, quite a few of us already know that.
Over the past few weeks and days, it’s become apparent that I may know someone, or perhaps a few people, who’ve succumbed. They were all people I deeply respected, and I hope that one day I’m proven wrong. Some of them I simply didn’t know well enough to ever have my suspicions confirmed or proven wrong. That’s life. Maybe that’s part of the dark humor. Given the situation in the world, I feel (or really know) that it will happen again, perhaps to someone reading what I post.
It’s also possible that they simply couldn’t deal with what I post.
But I’m going to keep on posting jokes about what’s going on in the world. Not because I’m disrespectful, but simply because it’s how I deal. Feel free to unfollow or snooze me. I certainly expect that from people who don’t relate. Many of the people whom I share the sense of humor with aren’t in any other groups I belong to. But perhaps those who also have a dark sense of humor will recognize the way that I’m joking about it and understand it’s not demeaning. It’s certainly not because I don’t take this illness seriously or think it’s not tragic. That’s why you’ll see my attempts at humor alongside very serious pleas for our leaders and the people who elect them to take it much more seriously and stop being so damned calloused about, and evil toward, the people they allegedly represent.
But I don’t intend to stop. Some day I may have seen enough tragedy that I have no longer have a sense of humor. It will probably happen for at least a few days at a time. I hope that never becomes permanent, while still living a long life. In the mean time I’ll continue posting jokes about idiotic political decisions and the people making them, puns about deeply serious topics, and sometimes even about more tragic aspects. I don’t make fun of those who we’ve lost and don’t have some sort of social darwinist agenda. I’m sorry if you are offended, that was not my intention.
So if you can’t relate for whatever reason… perhaps you’ve either seen too much, or not enough, I completely respect any decisions to unfollow or snooze my posts. I consider everyone on my friends lists an actual friend, even if the context for that friendship isn’t one that’s been around for very long. So feel free to send me a direct message. If anyone wishes, I’ll be sure to configure my online messages so that you never receive anything humorous about serious events. I won’t judge you for it. I’ve already done similar for other types of posts without anyone complaining, out of respect.
Anyway, enough seriousness about humor. It’s bringing me down, and I don’t need that during my time to relax and recharge.